Climb Higher

Mt. Evert 2018

Mount Everest, one of Gods great creations, mans mission to climb, our mission to adore.

Sometimes we get so busy we forget that looking UP is actually therapeutic for our souls! When you were a kid, did you not not spend hours looking at the clouds, watching them drift and turn into a variety of figures, animals, people and the like? I know I found great calm and pleasure in looking up and envisioning the possibilities. It is important that we continue that practice of envisioning new things, climbing higher, learning, and seeking.

Find things to adore today and share them with your family and friends! Look up, look around, climb higher than yesterday and when you look up, dont foget there is a great creation, when you look in the mirror!

Namaste’, Shalom and God Bless,

Tanny

Credits: Susan Balfe, on her assent 2018.

For Heavens Sake

Posted bypersonoftrustPosted inUncategorizedEditFor Heavens Sake

As I often do, I ask for guidance on what to write about in these posts. I have been so conflicted in so many ways of late, that it has been hard to decifer on which area to focus. But here goes nothing, as they say!

SO, we are tired, we are confused, we are angry, we are joyful, we are thankful, we are hopeful and we have no real idea of what truths lie before us.

With this mismash of feelings and thoughts it is easy to get sidetracked from some very important ideals that keep us as ONE.

I say ideals because, ideally, we all want the world to be what we want it to be….peaceful, prosperous, loving and kind. But, it isn’t.

Hostility abounds, differences drive friends apart, hatred is easy to find and love is found mostly in Hallmark, The Bible or videos, but seldom in day to day intractions.

So what do we do? What do we do as a collective of human beings set upon the ball we call Earth to exist….as we might more desire?

What do I do? I look up. I look to the stars, the Heavens and I pray. I pray for peace, I pray for healing, and hate to go away….just vanish. I pray for love to overome all. I pray to the Heavens for our sake, the world is healed.

My sister from another mother always says I gernally look at life with sunshine in my eyes. That is, I look toward the sun, I literally WANT to see the sun. I want to see godness and mercy. I want to feel loved and I want to feel peace. I want this pervasive tiredness to go away. I want to feel energized. I want to feel like ME again.

Somehow, in all this, I feel as though I have lost a part of me. I lost that part of me that looks toward the sun and instead settles for looking at my phone. I tire of the endless statistics and yet am somehow strangely pulled toward them. DO you find yourself in this position as well? Do you find yoursef pulled toward that which you KNOW, in your heart, is not what you ultimately want in day to day life?

These are my confessions of feelings. Even though I do believe in God with my heart, somewhere along the line, I just wonder where He is in all this. I know He is watching. I know in the end He wins, but getting through this muck and mire is just not fun at all. I am sure as well that on some level, He is affecting all these situations in the world today. And I know, with my heart He is the ultimate ONE of all.

If you look back in history, even thousands of years ago, there have been famines, plagues, wars and all that stuff we deem as horrid. Had we gotten so complacent that we didn’t imagine all this could happen to us? History always repeats itself….. it seems to me that we had gotten so comfortable with life, our living, that this has been a giant shock to our very existence. A shock, that itself will likely go down in history.

I am not here though to tell you sad and periless tales, to reiterate all that you already know, only to assure you that if you have had feelings like this, you are not alone. These feelings do not make you less of a Believer, even some of the great prophets questioned God at times, but it does indicate that we may need a swift kick in what I call our God Brain.

This God Brain part of ourselves is the ideal I am referring to. Our realities need to exist on a plane that God sees, and God sees the ideal ,of that I am sure. He is all about ideal, and perfection. Our jobs are to catch that feeling , that concept and live it. Every. Single. Day. Run after and catch it like you might go after a whisping feather floating on the wind.

Our God Brain can see, envision and hope for this ideal. Our God Brain has the capabiity to live this out, if we put forth effort; and that is perhaps the hardest part…living with effort, with purpose, with determination. It is the easiest thing in the world to see only the bad, the negative, the hostility. It is quite another effort to live with vigor, hope, purpose and goodness.

It takes looking into the sun.

Start by taking off your sunglasses and looking at life as a bright shining star, waiting to give you the energy needed. Feel the warmth surround you, feel the oneness, let your God Brain take charge and see what happens. Look for that feather of hope, of love, feel your body being pulled toward it, and wrap your hands around the softness.

The sun is there, waiting.

Blessings to all,

Tanny

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I am a Believer who has journeyed many paths in life. I worked in mental health for over 20 years, been a speaker a numerous workshops and seminars on subjects from communication to resolving conflict. I began this blog as a way to reach out and provide assistance to people who are needing positive Light in their lives as well as to provide insights from my own journey that may help others. I am currently working on a book based off my experiences with God and His guiding. Please contact me for more information or speaker availability. View more posts

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Ocean of Dreams

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Ocean of Dreams

Posted bypersonoftrustPosted inUncategorizedTags:directionEncouragementGodHopinglifelivingpossibilities

here

Where it began I can begin to remember, but my dreams keep humming along. Sometimes the dreams are of days past, sometimes of future possibilities, and sometimes they get mixed together in a cacaphony of images.

Lets begin.

In third grade I was known as the hysteric and not always taken very seriously. This morphed into a sort of class clown, which I have not lived down to this day. (I’ll discuss that later, but it has a reoccuring theme in my life for a host of antics which influence my aforementioned dreams.)

So, a HUGE storm was upon the rural school I attended in second grade. We were dutifully trained to get under our desks in case of natural or nucler disaster. One day, due to the fact that our teacher did not act swiftly enough, (in my estimation,) I began running around the room screaming for the bewildered students to get under their desks as we were under attack. The teacher was not amused at students running amuck, me screaming and crying as mayhem ensued. (This story is verifiable, in case you were wondering.) The teacher and the school secretary grabbed me from my self chosen duty to warn, and told me we were not under attack, that it was a thunder storm. I was not totally convinced, but stayed close by my desk in case they were wrong. The teacher again, was not amused. SO, it took me years to get over storms, dreaming they were taking us away and the like. Somehow, I have survived. Somehow.

Another case happened in first grade, sorry, I digress. In those days it was mandatory girls wore skirts or dresses to school. One could wear outer pants with said garment on cold days, but must be taken off once inside. Again, I was a bit nervous about the rules and getting it wrong, and oh so nervous, I mistakenly took off my skirt leaving only my outer pants to cover me. Emerging from the cloak room and seeing what I had done, I thought I was dead, literally dead. The rules were firm and non negociable. And there I was, in front of eveyone, who in unison began laughing when I came into view. I, of course became slightly hysterical and embarrassed and had to go home. At least there I knew I was safe from the possible comets that might hurl my way. The dreams of humiliation stayed with me.

The point to my retelling these events, is that they wrapped themselves up in my brain and organized themselves into something much bigger than the events that actually transpired. My brain betrayed me. My mind went asunder. And, I have spent the better part of my life trying to untangle the realites from the dreams. Events such as these can lingerin the mind and form inaccurate perceptions of the world, of oursleves and of others. In my case, this mixing of wishful or fearful thinking and the reality has made for alot of confusion and unneeded hurt. There is a funny old saying that the elders used to say to kids…” get your head on straight.” I think in some ways, this is what that may have meant. There’s a difference between dreaming of oceans and clouds and living there.

I have been labled a dreamer. In the poetic and literal sense. I see grand possibilites where others see grains of sand. At times this has served me well, and at times has caused great inner conflict and pain, as what I thought wasn’t, and what I did not see was. Confounding to me, clear as day to others around me.

It is not so much different for most of us I think. “Our thoughts become us,”... someone once said. I believe it is up to us to be watchful about our thoughts, to be discerning about our thoughts and opinons lest they become part of our unrealities as well.

So how do we carefully scrutinize our thoughts? How do we discern reality from wishful or fearful thinking? Many professional journals and research papers have been written on this subject, but just for this moment, ask yourself, how do I decifer truth from fiction? And really, it’s really not just about just truth and fiction: it’s about how we want to see things, how we want our perception to influence our lives. How do we want to live?

Perception is 9 tenths of ones midset, or so “they” say. I believe from my past experiences it is true. This true point LEADS TO ANOTHER QUESTION:

Who helps you, who is your “watchman” on your perception of you, of your life?

I have close friends who know me well enough to let me know when I may need to chart another course. They can let me know when it appears my realities have mixed into my dreams again, but my listening is another matter.

But….There is One, who I KNOW I can totally trust with my dreams and my realities. My ultimate “Watchman” is God.

He assists me in determining the attention I pay to things that pass my way. He assists me in knowing when to sift the shaft from the grain. He shows me how to look for the good, the reasonable, the tolerable, the graceful and the mercy each of us so deserve. He shows me my dreams now, and now the dreams are filled with oceans. Deep, wide, calming oceans, that my soul can rest in and find new energy to continue living and dreaming. Oceans that have real possibilities. Oceans that look farther than I can humanly percieve. Oceans of Dreams that only He can see.

I hope this has given you some time to think about how your Oceans of Dreams come about, how you might change them if need be and how very Blessed you are.

Blessings to you all.

Tanny

s a reoccuring theme

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Joyful, Joyful

“Today is the Lord has made let us be glad and thankful for it!”

Such are the moments in our lives when we must stop and ponder what we are grateful for!

Are you grateful today? What are you grateful for? What exactly is gratitude? Can we be grateful while struggling and in pain? Is being grateful helpful? Just a few questions to spark your thoughts today!

A good friend had a bicycling accident a few days ago and ended up with broken ribs and other contusions. He thought it would all heal fine, continued with his daily activity and though in pain, thought little else of it, just waiting to heal and ride again. Grateful he wasn’t hurt worse as in the last one, yes there have been others, he continued on. Then, at midnight a couple days ago, woke up not able to breathe, rushed to the ER by his scared to death wife, got admitted, and found out his broken rib had punctured a lung and was bleeding internally. Okay. So, now the scene had changed from gratitude to scared for his life as they inserted a drain tube to try and get his lung back to functioning. Scared wife, sister from another mother, could not be with him due to hospital restrictions and had to painfully wait, and wait, and wait for any information. Which brings about the subject for today.

We chatted nervously about how it could have been worse, how they got to the ER faster than the ambulance could, how he got admitted and tended to quickly. And yet, in times such as these, the missiles of ” could have beens” do not take away the pain and fear lurking in the background. The tiny flakes of gratitude do not take away the fear, but they do offer a sort of band-aid for the anxiety.

Anytime in life, when we wait, think or act in fear, (as I am highly acquainted with,) it takes a toll on our ability to see those bits of gratitude that are present. Our vision becomes of the past and future; the what-ifs and could-bes’ seem to seep into our thought process and water down the thankfulness we once soaked in. Our mind can race rampantly and before we know it we are on the proverbial hamster wheel of emotion, racing to nowhere, ending up where we were.

Gratitude and thankfulness on the other hand, can feel like a warm, soothing bath, complete with bubbles and smells of hope and goodness. It bathes our consciousness and soul with a sense that things are okay and the world is just fine for that moment. Gratitude toward the smallest things can change our mindset and literally alter our brain chemistry, that in effect stops the hamster wheel from turning. Thankfulness can offer a calming effect, noticing the things that are right and good vs those that aren’t as we might wish for.

So how do you find thankfulness in times of pain or anxiety? I usually pray or read, or talk to someone on the phone. I know some folks who keep thankfulness diaries daily, to remind them of the bigger picture of their lives. I believe this is especially important today and in these times as we traverse the societal changes, fears of illness and sorrow. We NEED to recognize what we are thankful for, if for nothing else, than our ultimate sanity. In the larger scheme of things I believe thankfulness offers us spiritual freedom, it affords us a closeness to our Creator who so perfectly put this life together. It allows us to connect on a higher level to who we are and what/who is really important in our lives.

So today, leave me a comment on your ways to offer gratitude and thanksgiving, Id love to hear from you!

Be safe and Blessings,

Tanny

For Heavens Sake

What are you feeing…right this minute? What are your expectations for today? What are your hopes for this week?

Moreso lately, I wake with limited expectations for the day. I wake being thankful to be well, that my family and friends are well and I am living to see another day. Gone are my daily ” have to do lists.” Gone are my anxious feelings about what event might come my way to barrage my mind with “what-should-I-dos.” Gone are my limitations of time and energy. It all feels, irrelavent….now.

In the place of these well meaning tasks and activites have been slowed paces, much more thoughtful pauses, and attention to my emotional state. I am, in the beginnings of refurbishing me.

I listen to a variety of professionals who seek higher levels of emotional being, of attentiveness to fellow man, of inner peace and especially a closer contact with God. My journey takes my dreams to new levels, different levels of sleep and consternation. They bring back memories of the past, people, “could-have- beens”, scenarios that sometimes bear a distant similiarilty to the me I thought I knew. The dreams are perplexing at times. Litttered with scenes of feeling lost, of being surrounded by friends and strangers alike and still feeling as though I have no idea of where I am going, or what I am doing. And these, are probably the most honest of my feelings. I have no idea of what I am doing, really. I know I want to make a difference in this world, I want my existence to count for something. I want to have helped people along the way and to at least put on my epitaph…” She tried.”

Feeling insignificiant is not a new thing. Although I cognitively know I am not insignificant, and I have made differences in lives, the feeling comes from long ago. A time when I was made fun of, because I was very little, painfully shy and terribly insecure in my skin. I was a great target for anyone needing to feel slightly larger, slightly more powerful or at the very least, more likeable. I felt like the dragon Custer in a childrens poem…all i wanted was a …”nice safe cage.

I did not understand bullying. I did not understand power games. I did not understand the power of people to hurt others, I only felt it. And feel it I did. Intensely. As if to be a vessel for hurt, I soaked in the hurt I saw from others and felt myself, and felt helpless to do anything about it. I prayed for Jesus to love them and forgive them. I prayed for those that did not seem to understand me. I clung to those who seemed to like me. And so, my long struggle began.

My journey through this transformation will undoubtedly be a long one. I have longed for some sort of transcendence, and yet done little to ensure its beginning. Thinking about it seems nice, doesnt it? Doing it, beginning it, quite another story. Like my dreams it can be quite unsettling. The concrete ways of thinking and feeling about myself had become comfortable. I knew who I was, it was a shame others didn’t. Giving all that up still seems daunting. But, there is the now. Now, I am faced with realizing I perhaps have known nothing at all and am faced with my inner most feelings of self doubt, of neediness, of little self esteem and the bravado I have shown is just that…..and all of it, severey lacking of inner substace.

I want to draw some lines between inner substance and cognitive substance. I know, in my head, I am worthwhile. I know God loves me and I know others love me as well. The issue is that I am still that very scared, shy, vessel holding all that hurt and fear inside that must be purged, to go on to who I am truely meant to be. I am talking about spiritually. Spiritually I need to evolve or remain where I am, and I grow weary of stagnation. Spiritually growing means facing down these giants that prevail.

Facing down all these learned or imagined facets of myself will take time and considerable effort. Uncovering the desires of my ego and satisfying the needs of my inner sspiritual self, to grow into a fully functioning human will be a process. It is a process I have willingly made. And for “Heavens sake,” I pray God will always be with me.

These days of limited activity, what do you long for? What does your inner self desire? Lets journey together, shall we??

Blessings,

Tanny

A Soul Desire

Walking down memory lane during this period of life has afforded me the opportunity to walk some paths I had not seen in a few years. Some of these paths have been rocky, pursed with stones, holes, logs and other barriers. My scenic measure was viewed mostly in my rear view mirror. I seemed to oft look past these barriers and see only blue skies above causing me to fall mostly, on my face. The view from the rear view mirror was not much better, seeing these as merely things in my way versus pieces of my life I should’ve paid more attention to, so as not to damage myself.

My friend of many years Jill, used to tell me I was headed for the wood chipper, instead of the path I thought I was on, landing me as she predicted, in a pile of wood chips. I mention my missteps as they are so much a part of who I am today; not so much more informed about myself, but transformed.

Being informed, is something I continue to seek. I have always thought that being informed would provide me with the utmost safety net. I grew up in the ” information age” where the more you could get, the better off you were. As the years have passed, although I still value information, at my core, it is what I DO with the information that is most transformative. Doing, takes guts. Doing takes thought. Doing something meaningful with information is what I hope inspires new ideas, new dreams, new inventions, and new belief systems. Doing, is not simply obtaining information and spitting it back out as robots, or he said-she said, it is delving deeply into information to obtain the best. What is the best you ask? The best, is that which manifests itself closest to what our Creator asks of us, all. It means giving of yourself to a thought so deeply that you forget what side you are on, you forget your pain, your loss, your biases, and look at a picture that literally spans the globe.

A task not for the light of heart.

What does this have to do with transformation?

It is my belief, that IF, we are to desire, and achieve the best, we must, have our Creator in mind when seeking and fettering out information.

I did not have a transformation in spirit, and thought, because I finally listened to Jill and quit running toward an imaginary wood chipper. I transformed because I took the information and asked my Creator, God, to help me find deeper meaning in what I was doing, both in the paths I was taking and in the holes I’d fallen. The holes were deep, and mostly of my own making. I had the knowledge, but I did not have the transforming power to change myself without help from something much more informed than I could possibly hope to be.

This is so important today because I look around and see so many hurting, so many lost, so many searching for answers that may never come, from a human mind.

It is our very souls that cry out for more.

How do you get more? How do you find transformation, and more of your true self? How do you transcend from information to transformation? What do you do when your soul cries out for more? What do you do when the information is nearly exhausted and your soul is still needing something? What keeps you from just stopping?

Friends, it is possible. Everything your soul desires is on the other side of asking. Ask, for transformation, not just information. Ask, fervently, ask with expectation, ask with hope.

Let me know how you are. Drop me a line at the bottom, Ill respond.

Best wishes and Blessings for your transformation!

Tanny

God of all nations

I’ve been doing alot of reading and searching for common links globally that bind us. There are the stars, the heavens, indisputibly hovering above us, that remind of us of how small the world is.

If we look through the lens of the space station, the globe looks like one large ball floating in space, with landscapes and waters, and a sense of “one.”

We cognitively know that on many levels is not true given the many cultures, economic differences and fortresses. However, if we dig a little deeper into our commonalities, we find two quite distinct similiarities: we are all human, people, and we all have some sort of belief that someone or thing, made this ball float.

Yes, for the scientists, you can have the theories of gravity and space, but I’m talking about something that is much more organic. Our organisms, are organic. Purely, organic.

We all must eat to survive, we need human contact, we have voice, we sense, we have thought, we have inside of us the incredible ability to survive when that seems most unlikely. We grow, we begin as a seed and transform. It is this incredible transformation that stands out to me as we all search for answers in our living, and our dying.

Nature, or God, as I call Him, has put before us an untenible duty to respond to this link. He calls us to look into our nature, to our beginnings, to our transformations and instead of finding differences, find these commonalities that have the potential to bring us back together as one world, one globe, one people, on a floating ball called Earth.

I named this piece God of all nations because in my searching, another common theme I found is that nearly every sector of the globe seems to believe in something…something large and unexplainable. A God that keeps the ball in the air, a God that sees all, a God that created us from organic form and continues to look after that pattern. In a sense, then, it stands to reason that we, in fact, are of ONE.

Today, in your thoughts, devotions, conversations, think about these commonalities. Delve into the God of all nations theory and investigate your own organic beginnings. Think about how you might link yourself to others as we are called to be “one. “

If you desire some interesting and thought provoking videos I suggest listening to Carolyn Myss and Nadia Boltz Weber. These two women have spent their lives in search of our goodness, our mercy, and how to expain our “oneness.”

God Bless you, and safe travels on our “ball.”

Wondering minds

Fisrt, thanks to all who have read or commented on the blog. Your input is appreciated and necessary for this to evolve into whatever God had planned when He planted this idea in my head.

Onto the topic.

I have read, reread and tried to process where God is in this epic pandemic we are experiencing. I have read scripture, articles, other blogs, from many different sites and tried to incorporate them into something I could answer for myself.

I am not sure where you are with this topic, but I believe and confess, that God is sovereign over all. Being sovereign, one might assume it means He/She dictates everything on the earth and skies, the inhabitants and events. After deep reflection and study, I also believe God gave us free will to make decisions, to act, to think about things in a manner consistent with our beliefs. And, there is the giant question isn’t it? What beliefs do you have that lead to your actions? Are we driven by a sincere interest in living like Christ? Are we driven by a bi-directional thought process that is black and white, right and wrong, mine or yours, or more precisely, selfish. Yes, I said it. Selfish. Call it what you may, but selfishness in our thought processes can lead to so many ills and mis-steps in our lives.

Long ago, I confess, I was a selfish person. I thought what I said was right and generally beyond reproach. God taught me, through some painful events, however, that I was very wrong.

Being wrong wasn’t the end. It was the beginning. It was the beginning of being more actively thoughtful. It was the beginning of putting others needs before mine and trying to do the best with what God had given me.

I’ve heard so many folks say, but if God is ALMIGHTY, why is He allowing this? Because HE is ALMIGHTY, He is not allowing this, but rather, watching from above. It is our chance to come to HIM. It is our chance to wonder about things we have long set aside due to life’s busy paths. It is our chance to BECOME.

So wondering minds, keep wondering. Keep searching. Keep asking and mostly, keep in mind, a large part of you, is already in Him. He just asks us to keep in touch. Just as I do.

Day one, My Confession

Today marks too many to count days in stay at home circumstances. I ,like so many others vacillate between finding the joy of having nothing I have to do and the burden of feeling like there are so many things I should be doing! So, lets talk about the dreaded shoulds of our lives.

Once upon a time, my mentor had a saying, ” don’t’ should your life away.” She had many variations of this, including, …” don’t should on yourself”, ” don’t should on others,” you get the point.

So today, yes, there are many things I could should myself to do. There are many things that need to be done in this global crisis it literally boggles my mind, and yet where to start?

Instead of wondering around in my haze, what I have found is that simple task of asking myself what I really WANT to do is most helpful. I wanted to help bake cookies for the local Nursing home. I wanted to run an errand for my mother. I wanted to take a nap, and I wanted to write a daily devotional for the church I attend. Those are things that I wanted to do ,and completed them with joy. Ahhh, the spark has hit! With JOY!

Many places in the in the Bible it talks about doing good for others, and I usually find this a helpful statement in times of my lull attitude. These days however, though there are so many things I could do, I find myself having to think harder about what things I want to do that would in turn be helpful to others.

SO today, i’m offering up to you, that in times of lull attitudes, and shoulding on yourself, what makes you find joy? WHAT things might you want to do that in turn might bring joy to others? Or, what stands in your way? Lets help each other figure this out and be on our way past the shoulds.